I woke up. The others were already gone. I looked in the canteen. Both sat at the table. I wished good morning, took something to eat and poured me coffee. Both sat at the table with their heads hanging and looked over at me stealthily. The atmosphere was tense again.
"Are you back in the Stockroom today?" asked Amelie.
"Yes," I replied succinctly.
"What are you doing there?" she asked.
"Take what’s there. I answered again narrowly.
“Can’t we try the sports field again?” asked Amelie.
I got up and walked wordlessly. They were absolutely plemmplemm, I wouldn’t take any more action with the two of them, that was just too dangerous for me.
I continued to take up on the stockroom. They left me alone, obviously they understood that I didn’t want any more. The thought of going on alone took shape and seemed to me to become more and more plausible. What they would do if I had set out was their thing.
Secretly, however, I hoped that they would do something to show me that they were working on themselves.
In the afternoon I took my backpack. I put all the stuff out and took stock. The two took this suspiciously, but nobody dared to speak to me about it. I thought they get familiar with the idea that I was going to leave. After dinner I went to take a shower again, this time I sat down in the common room. I had found several radios in the camp. They all had a cassette part. I picked a cassette with QUEEN and some other pop bands. I turned on the radio and didn’t make it too loud.
Maybe the other two didn’t like my taste in music.
"Eiiij make it louder," Thort said. "horny Music, Queen"
"I also like Queen," said Amelie
She had sat down on the couch, put her legs on and put her head on her knees. She looked over at me. I sat bent over, my elbows supported on my thighs and my head in my hands. I listened silently to the music, smoked my cigarette and drank beer.
After a while, Thort got up and said
“I’m going to bed, I’m too loud here.”
Of course, he meant it ironically, because he was probably fed up with no one saying a word. Amelie stayed seated and fixed me.
Freddie Mercury was breathing “You take my breath away.” I lit another cigarette and emptied my beer can. Amelie stood up. I could see that she wasn’t going right to the bedroom, no she turned left. A short time later, she returned with two beer cans in her hand. She knelt next to me on the couch and held a can,
I said Thank you."
I opened it and took a sip. I pulled out my cigarette packet and offered Amelie one as well. She took them and set them on fire herself. I smoked in silence. Then she suddenly blew my hair and gently arranged the strands with her fine fingers. I looked around at her.
"What about you Helldiver?" she asked me. She breathed it more.
She looked me in the eye.
"Do you love anyone, a girl."
I shook my head "No," I replied, and I wanted to turn away.
Freddie Mercury breathed his „Love of my live“
"You only hear such a music when you have love grief." Said she and looked at me compassionately as if she wanted to comfort me.
“I don’t have a love grief, I just like the music.”
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
'Not really, I wasn’t interested in it. If you live where I live, you don’t have much opportunity. “Maybe after my studies. Maybe I’ll go on a search.”
“I’ve had a boyfriend before, but nothing fixed,” she said.
"My Maman always wants to bring me together with some FiFis. All rich sons who drive fat cars live off their parents’ money and spread like a peacock. I don’t like them. Thort is actually a very dear one. He’s not very intelligent but he’s a good guy. He’s like a brother you know. Even though if he constantly bickers me. We did that as children.
I like you. Even if you’ve been swearing with me a lot lately. You are special. You’re so closed, so focused, you know what you’re talking about. You have a plan. You give security. Women like that." Said she was smiling.
Should that be a turn on now, so trallala, Twitter, Twitter. I thought. But as she said it and looked at me, she told me that she was serious about what was said.
"Don’t you like me?" she asked
"No, it has nothing to do with you or your person. It’s the shit situation we’re in. I cannot take responsibility for putting you in danger.
"I would like to see in your thoughts," she breathed back into me.
She was a little closer to me and played with one of my strands of hair. She did this very gently.
"You like to be alone?" she asked her gaze was strangely warm
"Yes, even my father has said that many times enough. He thinks I should go among people more often."
"You are a loup solitaire (French: lone wolf).
I looked at her questioningly.
"Ahh, this is a lone wolf"
"Maybe I am."
"Loup solitaire" she breathed again it went through and through me.
"A very dear person is hiding under the wolf fur, I would like to get to know him," she said softly.
Her French timbre went through and through again.
On the radio, Brian Ferry sang "Jealous Guy" She took the cigarette out of my hand, jumped off the couch and pulled me up.
"Come on, dancing. I love Roxy Music"
I reluctantly let myself be dragged into the middle of the room. I put my arm around her hip, took her left hand slightly in mine and wanted to keep the courtesy distance. She looked at me questioningly and expectantly, then she snuggled closer to me putting her left hand on my shoulder and her head on my chest. She looked at me, from her soft body and her eyes a strange warmth emanating through me. This feeling was completely new to me, this closeness. She smiled happily and kept looking at me.
For a moment, something like normality set in. If this moment had been in a more peaceful place in another time, I think I would have given it everything.
She was easy to guide like a feather. We danced as if we had always done that. When the song was over then came "Oh Yeah" by Roxy Music.
“Please keep dancing, that’s so beautiful,” she breathed tenderly, gently caressed my face with the fingers of her left hand.
I felt like I was struck by lightning. She was right, it was nice to hold this delicate girl in my arms and gently weigh myself with her in the dance. I pulled her a little tighter. She acknowledged this with a happy smile and a gentle look of her almost black eyes. Her mouth was slightly open. As if it was an invitation to kiss her. I didn’t dare. I didn’t want to destroy that moment. When the music was over, she stayed in my arm for a moment, then she breathed a kiss on my cheek.
"Come we go to sleep, she said," and pulled me after.
Hand in hand we went to the bedroom. When she arrived at her bedside she gently touched my face again and kissed me again on the cheek
"Good night," she said.
Then we went to our beds. I was awake for a long