Hoo boy, do I have something to share with you…
Last night, I was minding my own business raiding abandoned warehouses for 18 gallons of fuel which would be totally possible for me to carry in real life when I noticed one very quiet-looking big boy snoozing away. At least I think that’s what he was doing. You know how they just stand there and make all sorts of robot snoring noises and you can walk past them like they were that girl in high school you had a crush on but were too shy to say anything to? That’s what he was doing - completely ignoring me. Rude.
Anyway, he was also a level 4 rival. And me being the gentleman I am, I wanted to kindly awaken him from his afternoon nappy time with a gentle shake from my RLG.
But before I got a chance, big boy suddenly woke up and let out the most terrifying robot scream and started to charge around like a maniac. I didn’t even do anything to provoke him - it was impossible for him to see me. And he didn’t even charge at anything specific. He just got up and bolted like a crazy Black Friday shopper at Saks Fifth Avenue.
There were also none of the other nerdy (enemy) robots to throw things into combat. It scared the bejeezus out of me, and that’s just the start.
After I bravely ran into an impregnable shelter, the madness began. This dude must have felt guilty about eating 12 robot cheeseburgers the previous night because he wouldn’t stop running around aimlessly. Robot cardio?
The scary (and hilarious) part was he kept banging into things. He would let out that ugly robot groan, smash into an unsuspecting nearby gas tank and things would explode. I was in one of those big warehouse areas and he just charged around like a temper tantrum-throwing toddler tank in Toronto.
It was actually a bit scary. All that KLING KLANKT KLANGT of his big ugly feet and charging around like an awkward wannabe ballerina. I actually had to legitimately dodge him a few times thinking I was safely behind something, but he somehow found a magically way to fit through an opening too small for him (see one of my previous posts about the Reaper getting stuck in a barn and another getting ganked by a Church hedge)…
So this robot was incredibly grumpy. Stomping around everywhere, running into those big canisters of fuel and blowing them up, steamrolling over the poor little doggies who were trying to help him by snuffing me out of Ostertorn. I’m too lazy to put the umlaut over the “o”. Sue me.
So what was wrong with this guy? Cranky? Wife left him? I definitely shouldn’t have woken him up, he needed that nap. Didn’t get video, but it was a crazy fight.
Loot gained - all of the typical stuff plus a VHS tape of an 80s Richard Simmons workout - “Body Burn For Bots”. Makes sense!